DEU RUIM, E AGORA?

Pra variar um pouco toda a minha história, eu fiz essa FIV no mês de março com a plena e cristalina certeza que todos os meus problemas de infertilidade seriam resolvidos, eu engravidaria de gêmeos, um casal… eles até nome já tinham (e ainda tem, porque não desisto nunca!)… há muito tempo, diga-se de passagem!

O quarto deles já estava todo montado na minha cabeça, enquanto bebês ficariam juntos e depois de grandinhos, a menina ficaria no quarto maior (porque precisamos, não é?!) e o menor para o menino.

Cada detalhe, a decoração, chá de bebê? Chá de revelação? Ainda tinha dúvidas do que faria, mas para ambos, já tinha tudo planejado.

E como contar para a família?? Para aqueles que tanto oraram por nós? Como faria? Será que eu iria filmar o momento de contar a novidade… uma caixinha talvez, com um bilhetinho lindo dizendo que você será titio, titia, vovó, vovô…

Mas não, não foi assim que tudo aconteceu, definitivamente nada do que eu havia sonhado e planejado se realizou.

Por que? Porque não era a hora, o momento e a situação para que tudo acontecesse. Isso me consumiu por uns dias, a sensação de impotência perante toda aquela situação me fez pensar que nada mais daria certo.

Entretanto, eu não poderia me afundar em sentimentos ruins, me afundar na autopiedade que destrói qualquer resquício de sanidade mental e saudável ao ser humano…

Me apeguei a Deus, sim a Deus… só Ele me entende…

Dizer que consigo entender e que estou plena e em paz com tudo isso, não consigo, estaria mentindo… não consigo entender, não estou 100% em paz, choro ainda, tenho insegurança, medo…

Mas com o passar dos anos, aprendi que tenho uma força que nem eu mesma consigo enxergar em muitas situações. Aprendi que eu vou sofrer sim, mas que tenho que levantar a cada queda, sacudir a poeira, pentear o cabelo, passar um batom e seguir em frente!

Gosto muito de música, quem me conhece sabe disso e algumas delas me ajudam de uma forma tão maravilhosa nessa caminhada que eu tenho que compartilhar com você que está lendo esse Post.

Clique aqui e ouça, aqui , aqui e aqui também.

Cada um tem as suas lutas, a minha é a de tentar ser mãe… uns sofrem mais, outros sofrem menos, mas todos sofremos… O que temos que aprender (e é o que faço a cada dia) é saber lidar com as situações desagradáveis da vida.

Tem algo que você queira muito alcançar? Lute, busque, faça sua parte e nunca se esqueça que Deus é Deus em qualquer situação e está pronto sempre a te amparar, basta confiar nEle!

Quer saber mais? Se identifica com algum ponto desse post? Comenta aqui em baixo…

A história continua…

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