AMNÉSIA PARTE 2

Até aquele momento a minha adrenalina estava nas alturas e achava que estava lidando bem com a situação. Quem me conhece sabe que sangue não é minha praia, mas o senso de urgência nos faz ultrapassar essas barreiras e fazer o que deve ser feito, que naquele momento era cuidar da Talita. Seu choque estava passando e mais dores começaram a surgir.

Até então, acho que ela não tinha se ligado direito do corte no queixo, quando viu o sangue na gaze, perguntou o que era e eu caí na besteira de falar que ela havia cortado o queixo. Aí, me infernizou que queria ver…

Porém, quando ela se olhou no espelho e viu a ferida aberta em seu queixo, uma emoção, um estado de pânico subitamente a fez chorar muito e começar e tremer.

Eu a abracei e tentei acalmá-la, foi então que aos prantos ela me perguntou: “Amor, o que aconteceu comigo? Porque estou machucada? Onde eu caí?”

Não sei se você já passou por algo parecido com alguém, não sei se você conseguirá sentir metade do que senti ou sinto agora, mas não tenho como descrever a sensação.

Respondi todas as perguntas e ela continuou chorando. Um minuto depois ela perguntou: “Amor, o que aconteceu comigo? Porque estou machucada? Onde isso aconteceu? Porque não me lembro? Será que vou lembrar das coisas?”.

Foi então que fiquei realmente preocupado. Mesmo respondendo com calma às suas perguntas, ela continuou perguntando as mesmas coisas, seguidamente, e após ouvir minhas respostas, com lágrimas, ela me questionou por mais 3 vezes!!! Ela não lembrava da queda, da ferida, e ficou ainda mais desesperada quando percebeu isso.

Fomos ao médico. Limpamos os machucados e fechamos a ferida maior. Foram 5 pontos no queixo e duas horas depois ela lembrou da queda, do meu atendimento e da ida ao posto, mas nunca mais lembrou dos difíceis momentos no banheiro, do choro e das perguntas.

No início de todo o tratamento, quando as coisas começam a dar errado e a gravidez demora, muitas pessoas diziam: “Esqueça de querer engravidar, relaxa, que então dá certo”. Até mesmo eu por algumas vezes falei isso pra ela, tanto com tom de aconselhamento como por desabafo e até mesmo com indignação.

Hoje me arrependo… Hoje a sexta confissão é: nunca diga pra ela esquecer.

Não se esquece uma ferida aberta que gera dor mesmo sem se perceber. Não se esquece um amor, ainda que se queira negá-lo.

A cada ciclo finalizado ou iniciado. A cada consulta médica. A cada relato de quem “conseguiu” (esta palavra é a mais utilizada quando alguém engravida, porém, não concordo mais que seu sentido é adequado para o caso, pois engravidar não é algo que se “consegue”, mas é história pra outro dia), a cada relação, a cada texto postado aqui… lá no fundo… nós mexemos na ferida que está aberta.

Nunca diga para uma mulher que quer ser mãe esquecer desse sonho. Este é o tipo de amnésia que nunca dará certo, muito menos com palavras.

Quer saber mais? Se identifica com algum ponto desse post? Comenta aqui em baixo…

A história continua…

97 respostas para “AMNÉSIA PARTE 2”

  1. Agora entendi o comentário da Talita no facebook…
    Muito emocionante seus relatos, Hugo!
    Agora quero saber pq vc nao concorda com o termo “conseguir” neste contexto.
    Aguardo novos posts.

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